Wallowing in Muddy Thoughts

Lesson to the Aspiring Novelist - NEVER read your work before you have completely finished your first draft. If you give in to temptation and take even the tiniest peek at what you thought was brilliant prose you risk the following side-effects:

1) Broken heart syndrome

2) The devastating realization that you are the worst writer EVER. That no writer in the history of mankind has ever strung together so many dreadful, boring, mind-numbing words. Ever.

3) Bleeding from the eyes

4) A desperate urge to eat cake until you fall down and can't get up.

5) Going broke after you shell out your last few dollars on box sets of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and the X-Files (for starters)

6) Losing all reason for living when your only coherent thoughts revolve around whether Angel or Spike was the sexier vampire.

7)  Rectal seepage (not really, but who hasn't wanted to use the words rectal seepage in a side effects list?)

8) GIVING UP....


Lesson Learned? Don't be tempted. Just keep writing - no matter how horrible it seems. Bang away at the damn thing until you are finished. You can always go back later and apply a shiny literary patina on your pathetic story until people can read it without going blind. 

Maybe.