I listened to Claire and Katty talking about their book on CBC radio's The Current yesterday morning. It was surprising to hear them say that despite their skills and accomplishments they still occasionally experience a profound lack of confidence.
What?! You mean I'm not the only one?
They went on to suggest that while confidence is partly influenced by genetics (you either have a warrior or a worrier genes) it is not a fixed psychological state. You can change your confidence level by worrying less about people-pleasing and perfection, and by taking more risks. Check out their website at The Confidence Code to take a quiz and to read some interesting tips on how to bolster your confidence.
The discussion touched a nerve in me as a writer.
It is said that a successful writer needs talent, luck and persistence. I can say with - er - confidence - that I have decent amount of all three.
But, missing from the list is a capacity for self-promotion. It is essential to be able to sell yourself as well as your product to your agent, your publisher and your editor - not to mention blog tours, cocktail parties, public speaking, interviews, etc, etc, etc.
And that is where I fall short.
I've never felt comfortable blowing my own horn.
Why?
I was almost certainly born with the worrier vs. the warrior gene, and my guilt-infused catholic upbringing didn't help. Nor did my gender. Many studies have shown women are far less confident in general than men in just about every context.
Is that because women have less testosterone coursing through their veins? Is it because they are afraid of being labelled a 'bitch' if they stride into a board room to voice their opinion? Are we all just a bunch of perfectionists - afraid of failure?
Or, as Jessica Valenti commented on Twitter, "Maybe women's lack of confidence is not a personality flaw, but a predictable response to a culture that tells them they are not good enough."
Whatever the root cause, all I know is that for me, waxing eloquent on my own awesomeness is so far out of my comfort zone it makes me shudder to even think about it.
Still. I like a good challenge. I've taken quite a few risks in my life. I'm not afraid of failure. And now it seems I have another mountain to climb.
If I want to reach my full potential as a writer I must master the art of self-promotion.
Where to start? Perhaps I should revisit those three requirements of being a successful writer and look at them from a different point of view.
Instead of saying I have a decent amount of all three, maybe I should exult a little. Maybe I should try...
Celebrating my talent out loud.
Acknowledge that my 'luck' didn't fall in my lap by chance.
Remember just how tenacious and persistent I can be....
I'm can do this!
...Dammit.
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